But for many people, sex does trigger feelings sometimes positive, sometimes negative. It’s sexist for the exact same reason that severe connections are sexist, and TV shows are sexist, and offices are sexist. If you are aware that drinking heavily induces you to misunderstand and overstep other folks ‘s bounds, then it’s your obligation to drink in moderation. This trope is untrue.
And if it ends up that you’re not sexually compatible with him, say so frankly and straight, without putting him down in a gendered way. If you’re starting a hookup, it’s your obligation to ensure that your partner is both physically able to agree and really consenting. When you meet a guy who violates up your expectations of what guys are assumed to be like in hookup scenarios, treat him with kindness as well as an earnest curiosity, not ridicule. But for those who are to hookups, try to hold both these truths: one, that it’s potential and totally fine to choose partners and arrangements which work for you and that minimize sexism; and , that the sexism you will experience on your hookups isn’t your fault. It may deepen preexisting attachments or cause new ones to shape.